Mexico Cartel Stitches Rival's Face on Soccer Ball

The body of 36-year-old Hugo Hernandez was left on the streets of Los Mochis in seven pieces as a chilling threat to members of the Juarez drus cartel. A note read: ''Happy New Year, because this will be your last.'' To drive home the point, the assailants skinned Hernandez's face and stitched it onto a soccer ball. It's tough working in Mexico!

'Balloon Boy' Parents Get Jail Time, 4 Years Probation

A Colorado judge sentenced 'Balloon Boy' father Richard Heene to 90 days in jail and four years probation today. Larimer County District Judge Stephen Schapanski prohibited Richard Heene from receiving any form of financial benefit, whether through the media, a book, or articles he might write stemming from the balloon hoax. The judge also required him to turn over quarterly bank statements to make sure he's not making money off this incident. His wife also got 20 days jail time. With their $42,000 or more restitution to pay, this is a great result for these two idiots. Brilliant.